Granny's Wings
by GBscientist
Summary: A side story to Macintosh by TheTotalOverflow.  Sometimes, Granny Smith's stories aren't just senile rambling.


"Phoenix squadron, this is Granny, radio check, over," Captain Smith Apple ordered over the radio. She scowled at the derisive nickname her subordinates had saddled her with.

"Devil, check, over," Lucifer, Granny's straight-laced wingstallion replied.

"Rooster, check, over," replied Dawn Cloud, the only Pegasus in the squadron and the leader of the second pair.

"Trimmer, check, over," finished Light Hoof, the most junior of the squadron and the only other mare besides Granny.

"Squadron, Granny, this is not an exercise," Granny informed her comrades. "Tha' crazy bunch of terrorists tha' call 'emselves the Knights of the Moon have holed up inside an empty schoolhouse an' are resistin' arrest. We've been ordered tah flush them out or incapacitate 'em for the Royal Guard. Ah say again, we are goin' after live ponies in a real buildin' this time, so anyone with problems, peel off now. Over."

Granny noted that the rest of her squadron was holding tight in formation before glancing down at her instrument panel. The airspeed of her Gila Monster light bomber was higher than any Pegasus could match and her fuel level and engine heat were firmly in the green.

"Squadron, Granny. Since you're all still here, this is the mission plan: On the first pass, we're gonna drop the apple clusters. Then we'll come back for a second pass and unload the cream puffs directly on the building. Any Moony Pegasi that come up to challenge us get cherried. Confirm. Over."

"Granny this is Devil. Message confirmed. Over."

"Granny, Rooster. Confirm. Over."

"Granny, Trimmer. I Confirm. Over."

"Squadron, Granny. Continue on north-northeast to Hoofington an' we'll see the target. The schoolhouse has been cordoned off an' the local Guards will put up a flare for us to track on. Out."

The next half-hour was filled with tension and light banter over the radio to cover up the tension. The flight was easy, as the Gila was a joy to fly because of its twin high-powered engines and light plywood construction. All the other aircraft Granny had flow before paled in comparison.

Granny's joy was broken when she spotted the Royal Guards' flare off to her left.

"Squadron, Granny. The flare is off the left about 25 kilometres. Commence bombing run. Over."

"Granny, Devil. Order confirmed. Over."

"Granny, Rooster. Commencing run. Over."

"Granny, Trimmer. Confirmed. Target sighted. Over."

"Squadron, Granny. Tally-ho!" Granny knew her last message wasn't proper procedure but she just had to say it.

The noise of the Gilas screaming towards the schoolhouse startled everypony in the town of Hoofington. Even the Knight of the Moon, the intended target of Granny's squadron, looked up in awe at the pinnacle of Earth Pony engineering.

"Bombs away!" Granny called over the radio as she released the two 250 kilogram apple clusters from the hardpoints under her Gila's wings. Within seconds the rest of her squadron made similar calls before following her away from the target. Meanwhile the apple clusters rapidly descended until the small pyrotechnic within them shattered each cluster into a hail of sticky caramel apples. Most of the apples hit nothing of consequence, maybe smashing a window or two, but a select few hit Moonies with enough force to stagger or incapacitate the rebellious ponies. The Pegasi among the Moonies took to the air, while the others fled into their make-shift redoubt.

"Squadron, Granny. Line up for the second run. They know we're here so expect resistance this time. Out." The rest of the squadron fell into line behind Granny's Gila before all of them made a slow bank to point back towards the now-sticky schoolhouse.

"Airbourne targets spotted," Rooster called out. He was able to spot the Moony Pegasi first because of his own superior Pegasus vision.

"Guns free," Granny ordered. "Take 'em down." Granny spotted her own target and pressed the trigger on her control column. The Gila bucked as the four pneumatic cannons mounted below the cockpit spat a storm of dried cherries. The other members of the squadron picked their own targets, causing Pegasus after Pegasus to fall from the sky.

"Squadron, Granny. Tha' looks like all of their Pegasi. Break formation an' make for the primary target. Over." Following her own orders, Granny made a sharp turn to the left, then back to the right to break up the squadron's formation. She knew that the Unicorns among the Moonies would try to disrupt the bombing run. She was right.

Spears of light shot from the schoolhouse in all directions. Most hit nothing, but some of the beams nicked her plane or those of others in the squadron.

"Status check!" Granny demanded.

"Granny, Devil. Small chunk out of my right wingtip. No performance loss. Over."

"Granny, Rooster. My rudder and left aileron took hits. Manoeuvring's a bit sluggish. Over."

"Granny, Trimmer. I got a bit scorched on the fuselage, but I'm otherwise okay. Over."

"Squadron, Granny. Continue bombing run. Out." For her part, Granny's Gila had taken a hit to the nose that wrecked two of her cannons, but the squadron didn't need to know that. What they needed confidence in their commander to get them through the mission.

"Bombs away!" Devil called out first. Granny and Trimmer followed in quick succession, all of them dropping the twin 250 kilogram cream puffs from their bomb bays despite the beams of light attempting to hit them from the ground.

"I'm hit! I'm hit!" Rooster called out. "My right engine is gone and the right fuel tank's on fire."

"What have Ah told you about doin' barrel rolls in a Gila?" Granny demanded. "Punch out."

"I have to guide it away from the town!" Rooster insisted.

"You're not gonna to make it!" Granny countered.

"Yes. I. Am!" Rooster insisted while heaving on the control column of his dying fighter-bomber with all his strength.

"Punch out now! Tha's an order!" Granny pleaded.

"He's too low! His parachute won't have time to open," Devil said pessimistically.

Just before the damaged Gila collided with a field of corn, the cockpit burst open and Rooster shot out. Using all of the strength in his wings, Rooster climbed away from his flaming former conveyance. He got just high enough to avoid the flames that erupted when his aeroplane slammed into the field.

"I don't need a bucking parachute!" Rooster called out over his emergency radio. The rest of the squadron cheered.

"Rooster, git yourself down to a guard station an' git some rest. We'll meet you back at base," Granny called out.

Meanwhile, the Royal Guard advanced on the schoolhouse. The entire grounds of the school was coated in whipped cream. The windows of the school were blown inwards by the force of the whipped cream, and the Moonies standing at the windows, mostly Unicorns, had been knocked unconscious. Even the ones behind some cover were left stunned by the inundation of pressurised filling. The only thing left for the Guards to do was clean up, both figuratively and literally.

* * *

><p>"I hereby present you with the Royal Guards' Medal of Valour for your efforts in breaking the Knight of the Moon," Major Back-Kick said as he draped the medal around Smith Apple's neck.<p>

"T'weren't my doing, Major," Smith said as she examined the medal. "Rooster deserves this more."

"Dawn Cloud be getting a medal of his own," Back-Kick replied. "So will Lucifer and Light Hoof. I also have these for you." He presented Smith Apple with a sheaf of papers.

"What are these?"

"Your discharge papers."

"What? Why?"

"Princess Celestia has come to the conclusion, based upon your efforts, that modern confection delivery methods are simply too destructive; The Air Force is being disbanded. Now please, turn over your wings."

Smith Apple looked down at the wings pinned to her dress uniform. She had worked so hard for those and now they were being taken away. Using her mouth, Smith Apple unpinned the wings and relinquished them to the Major.

"But what'll yah do with my Gila? Are yah gonna just scrap her?"

"If you look at your papers you'll note that one of them is the deed to your aircraft," Major Back-Kick said with a smile. "Consider it a thank-you gift from your grateful Princess."

* * *

><p>"An' that's how Equestria was made!" Granny Smith said proudly as she stood in front of her Gila. The aeroplane was half-covered in a tarp that had obviously been pulled back to show off the fighter-bomber.<p>

Big Mac, Applejack, and Apple Bloom stood with their mouths hanging open in utter shock while the straw from Big Mac's mouth fluttered slowly to the ground. They had always wondered what was in the locked shed, but they never imagined it could be this. The surprise was simply too much for Applejack, so she fainted.

"An' tha's why you should listen to your elders," Granny Smith said smugly.


End file.
